Wednesday, February 25, 2009
"Realm of Bizarre News"Weekly Top 13(No.158)
This Week's "Realm of Bizarre News" Top 13 (No.158)
-Leave well enough alone! Swedish policeman opted for surgery to shorten his left leg which was longer than his right by about 2.5 centimeters, creating a minor imbalance. But, after 4 grueling, botched surgeries, his left leg is now 5.5 centimeters SHORTER than his right, creating a decided imbalance, not to mention chronic knee and back pain!
-Gentleman in Ranchi, India, fell in love with a woman 20 years ago, but lacked the courage to propose to her. Since 1997, he has written her name on postcards 1.4 million times! He spends an hour a day on this task and vows to continue until he reaches 10 million! No word on how his present wife feels about this attachment to a lost love!
-Adroit acorn woodpeckers have been boring holes into the walls of many homes in Rossmor,CA to store their favorite treat, acorns. Local citizens have endeavored to drive away the birds to put an end to the damage they do, such as with sonic waves, giant battery-operated spiders, and paints laced with chemicals, but nothing has deterred them. Indeed, when they installed a giant owl, the woodpeckers drilled holes in it! Now, they propose killing them which animal lovers vehemently oppose.
(Trivia Q: What is the term for a group of woodpeckers? Answer below)
-Ms.Lee Redmond of Salt Lake City,UT, who holds the record for world's longest fingernails, was recently in a serious auto accident where she was ejected from an SUV. Sadly, all 10 of her fingernails, which she had been growing since 1979, were broken. Ironically, she was once offered $10,000 to trim them, but declined the offer.
-Forget about a vestige of Jesus or the Virgin Mary materializing on some object. A Colorado couple is convinced that an image of their late, beloved chocolate lab has mysteriously appeared on their grill! You can judge for yourself by viewing the photo at: www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=108394&catid=188
-Moo! Moo! An intriguing British study proves that cows with names produce significantly more milk than those without. Apparently, bovines respond to the personal touch. Some 46% of farmers surveyed report that they have indeed named their cows!
-With Britain coping with its coldest winter in 13 years, an eerie problem has arisen: the ground is too frozen to dig through for burials, so some 54,113 bodies are on hold around the country waiting for a proper internment, with no burials in over the past month! Indeed, with frigid weather continuing, some cadavers may remain buried for months!
-Former parking official in new Castle Pa, siphoned off over $100,000 from the city's parking meters in just 2 years. He reported the meters yielded only a total of $342 for all of 2006 and 2007. But, when police assumed control of collections for the 1st time in 2008, they counted $54,000 for the year, exposing the extent of the pilfering!
-Oops! Cops in Umea, Sweden broke down the door of a hostel in response to a woman's screams, but it turned out that she was only rehearsing a song for an upcoming performance at the local opera house! (I almost had a similar experience when I was rehearsing my rendition of the "Ode to Pecos Bill" in my vocally-challenged voice for an appearance on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE)
-Bad idea! An elderly Japanese businessman in his 80s had regularly placed money in a metal box buried in his garden for some 4 decades that totaled some $4 million dollars (360 million yen) because he did not trust banks. Apparently, someone spotted him burying the funds, because he recently discovered the container had been dug up and stolen. Conceivably, the shock of this loss triggered his death a few weeks later.
-According to a study from Baruch College(New York City), most Americans will take a chance on eating some moldy cheese or yogurt beyond its expiration date in their fridge! Overall, they will eat possibly tainted food they own that they would reject if served to them in a restaurant!
-Not again! A butcher in Benneydale, New Zealand, accidentally sliced off his right hand with a bandsaw while cutting a flap of meat. Surgeons had a devil of a time reattaching the hand because of extensive scarring left 3 years ago when he cut off that same hand in another accident. Ultimately, the operation proved successful, but friends are urging him to change professions!
-Antarctic worms (nematodes) may unlock the key to human immortality! They generate heir own special anti-freeze that protects them freezing temperatures and coats ice crystals that form within them so their jagged edges will not cause damage. Once their secret is unlocked, this chemical can be injected into humans during cryonic suspension so that their bodies can be preserved, undamaged, until a method of revivification can be developed!
Trivia answer: A group of woodpeckers is termed a "descent."
I can present these and other intriguing reports(which can be fleshed out in more detail if needed) for you in a dynamic new 1-5 minute feature (or even 30-second microfeaturette) that can run daily, tri-weekly, or weekly on any of your existingproductions, or stand unto itself as a separate 30-minute weekly entity!
May the Power of the Cosmos be with You!